BELLY OF THE BEAST

Be alarmed, dear reader, of the title of this post. Because today yours truly will embark upon a journey to a land unknown to man, a terrain unexplored, a path un-treaded, a disease untreated, a malaise undefeated and a discussion which will become very heated. Yours truly has lift his fingers to type upon this keyboard to write upon a subject so controversial, with consequences so critical, that even yours truly is left befuddled and mind muddled as to how to swim in these troubled waters. So if you think, dear reader, that you are of the weaker heart, if the carnage is a word that sends shivers down your spine, if the word broken heart is something you can relate to, if you scroll the pages of 9gag.com for good lols and think to yourself that you have passed the prime, does going to the pasture and dying peacefully in the green grass crosses your mind one too often, then read no more, dear reader, for as motley and pronounced this piece of writing seem to you so far, but it is indeed a sad account that you shouldn't read if you can relate to aforementioned qualities, and you should not read any further. Turn back now and don't look back.

Well, great that you have made it thus far. First of all allow yours truly, to congratulate on the strength of your heart for reading on and if it breaks somewhere along the lines, then you have yours truly's sincerest apologies. xoxoxox

Anyway, but yours truly intends to write about a topic that he has never written about , never spoken of, never laid eyes upon and most definitely never ever thought about. Ok the prologue has become quite a drag now.

Tonight, yours truly intends to write about WOMEN  and his experiences with them in the year 2012, as a reflective introspective soul searching quest. But first a bit of Mr. Ezra 'King Daddy of Poets' Pound.

'CANDIDIA has taken a new lover

And three poets are gone into mourning.

The first has written a long elegy to "Chloris,"

To " Chloris chaste and cold," his " only Chloris.'

The second has written a sonnet upon the mutability of woman,

And the third writes an epigram to Candidia'

The three poets - Ezra Pound.

So it happens that yours truly, got dumped, by not two or three but seven ladies in a calendar year, full flat. And yours truly was not dating for almost four months, breaking all previous records, but not in a good way. So from this one can easily conclude that women are cruelest half of the human species. Rather heartless. Another conclusion yours truly chanced upon was that ladies are quite peculiar in knowing about the nature of yours truly interaction with other ladies. In their own jargon, they call it cheating. Madness, one can infer is something that is inherent to women. Also it was discovered by yours truly, that making up an excuse to not see a woman for a certain other social or work commitment can lead to the serious consequences of getting dumped, if that excuse is found to not hold any truth. Apparently, said woman told yours truly that she can't stand liars, which makes yours truly wonders that how does she stand anyone, for as Dr. House, a wise fictional man of the wild west of medical adventure land, has said that 'everybody lies'.

 Another woman suggested to yours truly that he is too sweet for her. Yours truly suggested some hand tying contrivances and a blindfold, and got dumped. It was thus that yours truly realized that how much truth the adage 'there is no pleasing some women' holds. And once yours truly was told by a certain lady to wait upon her for a certain lunch and movie arrangement at yours truly's place. And the lady in question never showed up and when inquired upon, never returned any texts. Women can be really immature at saying goodbye was the lesson learnt by yours naive-ly (worst stood up ever in the history of mankind). On the plus side, yours truly watched Dark Shadows alone, got to eat a lot of ice cream and cried alone in a bed on a scented sheets. (Dark Shadows is not recommended, Eva Green is not hot in it, Johnny Depp was at rare phenomenal class though.) And with another lady, with whom yours truly took the trouble of indulging in a long distance, err the term escapes yours truly but it has something to do with a relation and an oceanic travel resource, oh yes a ship, saw yours truly only once (and oh it was the best meeting ever in the passion history), and never saw yours truly again. So women can use men rather recklessly.

And then there was another lady, whom yours truly asked very politely twice to go out with him, only to be rejected. But yours truly doesn't take rejection very well, so in due time, the said lady came around and asked yours truly to go out with her. But now the tables had turned, yours truly couldn't resist the temptation of putting her down, and so did thusly yours truly, only to infuriate the said lady who poisoned the innocent mind of another lady about yours truly, so that the yours truly doesn't hook up with her. And it dawned upon yours truly that women don't like the taste of their own medicine and hell has no fury like a women scorned.

Yours truly takes such dumping incidents very lightly and is quite relieved each time to be back out in the open, with nothing but freedom, on the lookout for new ladies. Good riddance, is the precise compound that yours truly uttered at each dumping as it saved yours truly trouble of being the dumper instead of being the dumpee. Except for one time, when the lady got quite serious in yours truly and desperate measures were taken. But the winter was harsh and yours truly figured that December has never been a pleasant month for his lady-life. And yours truly has been alone on past 6 new year eves. The movie Alfie (2004) was recalled, and a wise movie it is. ('When it comes to shagging birds, there is one thing that matters, location, location, location'. 'And no good deed ever goes unpunished'. Probably the wittiest dialogues of modern cinema. And Mick Jagger on a killer soundtrack) Alfie, the protagonist, always find himself alone at the end of holiday season and since new year eve is an important landmark in yours truly life as it is quite close to yours truly's birthday, and yours truly evaluates his past year around this time, yours truly decided that he is not going to be alone on this new year's eve. And thus panicked and slightly enraged, yours truly went forth and hooked up with three ladies. One being the floor manager of an upscale restaurant, where yours truly went to eat alone and upon the slightest interest shown by the lady in charge, yours truly engaged her in a charming conversation about movies. Only to find her to be a drama major and an amateur theater actor with more knowledge of European cinema than yours truly. So yours truly is hoping that he doesn't get dumped on new year's eve as he has invested a lot of energy and time in this head hunting.

However, as this story sounds, you can inquire any of the said ladies and they will agree that yours truly is very kind hearted. So yours truly has been a douche, but he has been a kind douche. And yours truly has decided not to cheat on a woman again, as it's unfair and degrading. Heartless whore was how a dear friend described yours truly. But yours truly saved a certain lady from a cheating bastard lately and has been feeling pretty great about it. And by bastard means yours truly means a married with children kind of cheat.

So anyway, good night, and it has been a pleasure entertaining you, dear reader. A man is a composite of opposites. And yours truly is but a man. Rhetoric matters when it comes to confessing your sins, never forget that.

And that my dear reader, is the belly of the beast, where yours truly has been residing for quite a while now. 

And for all of you, I present, Golden Slumbers (+Carry the weight)-The Beatles. One of the best songs ever. Abbey Road is such a kick ass album.